Tuesday, August 26, 2014


I will stop.
Just before I get old.
Just before I get sad.
Just before I need too.
Just in time.

Monday, August 25, 2014


Do not fall in love with girls like me
I will take you to museums, and parks, and cathedrals,
and kiss you in every beautiful place,
so you can never go back to them without tasting me
like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible.
And you will understand why storms are named after people 

Saturday, April 19, 2014

So worth it

Brain, sorry for the confusion. Tummy, sorry for the butterflies. Pillow, sorry for the tears. Heart, sorry for the damage.


One day he hugged me so tight. So tight all my broken pieces stuck back together again.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

What He Wants

I gave him just what he wanted.

Adonis tears on my crisp white sheets.

His muscles danced under my finger tips.

Breath baby. There you go.

He expels only a sob.

Not holding back the strong woman smiles.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

in the air

Met a guy I used to know. Have a drink. Stuff in the air. Ask him about his current fortune. He shakes his head. I take a sip and remember the past. Passionate. Car crash. Hanging on for both our lives. How about you, he asks. I shake my head. Lonely, he sighs, licking his mauve glistening lips with the tip of his tongue. I nod. Stuff in the air.
I know want he's thinking. But it wouldn't work, he likes bitches. I wouldn't stand a chance. Broken in two. Torn to pieces. Sip my drink. Contemplate sleeping around. Ignoring his needs. Treat em mean. Pretend I don't give a fuck. Spend the day impressing losers. Ignore the phone calls. I know how to do it - I just don't like the rules. He licks his lips once more. I smile. He smiles. Stuff in the air.
I watch him reminisce. I gave him stuff. Stuff the bitches could never give. I made him feel. Really feel. I noticed the tiniest things about him. I made him question the reason he sleeps with shallow polished ice blocks that leave him emptied out on the floor. He smiles at me. I smile at him. Stuff in the air. Fucking hell.
Then it begins. Sucks me in. Pushes me away. He licks his lips more slowly this time. Allowing the wine to linger a little longer. Begins to stretch his broad shoulders. Smiles. Doesn't say a word. Not a single word. Just leaves me hanging. Waiting. Wanting. Say something. Anything. Nothing. Not a single word. Then with one dismissive shake of the head, he pushes me away once more. Torn to pieces. Broken in two. He just laughs. He just laughs. 
Time to go. Just one more, he begs. Still playing with the possible maybes. Life. Politics. Teenage nightmares laying naked on the table. He is amazing. Fucking amazing. If only he knew. But he doesn't know. That's why he likes bitches. Treat em mean. Torn to pieces. Playing with fire. Stuff in the air. He smiles at me. I hold back the tears. Time to go. Time to go.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013


I look at him and think it would be so easy. Too easy.

It would only take a little suggestion, the slightest flirtation.

He is after all in the comfortable fun friend zone. He is just waiting to be invited in closer.

I could take him home with me tonight. Temporarily fill what is missing. Warm my bed, entice a laugh. Keep me from being alone.

But what would I do with him in the morning? He'd make me tea. Fix my garage door. Find excuses not to go as I pushed him out.

After the fifth morning after text I would regret my weakness, questioning my impulsiveness.

Until I was horny again.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Blue to Red

She opened the Christmas gift that first year. It was so easy to shop for her then, she had nothing.
 The heavy box said "Le Creuset" and that brand of cookware was just what she wanted.

But they were blue. She had wanted red.

He watched her face as she unwrapped the  blue corkscrew opener and she would never use as she didn't drink. "I know you wanted red. but I have always liked blue the best."

She kept the glittery paper between them as she opened the expensive blue bean pot that would stay high out of reach, along with the useless fish pan.

She should have tried to smile more. It won't have killed anyone.
"If you don't like them you can always retry them', he said his voice becoming more angry.

No she couldn't. He had purchased them in another state and had already submitted the receipt to his company. So she just thanked him again.

The Dutch oven she used often. Until he broke the knob of it's top and left cabbage simmer dry to burn it's bottom beyond use.

She will figure out a way to buy her own for her little kitchen and any dishes for him will be served cold.